Young gay bottoms
Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms
Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world move on the Grindr app to watch for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most gay men – the possibilities have adj been simply top and bottom. The only other choice available toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).
“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to discover someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to choose from.”
“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d think, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something incorrect with me.”
Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who discover fulfillment in every kind of sexual act ex
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Ask any gay man, and he&#;ll tell you that the world is full of bottoms. &#;Bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom,&#; my friend Chris said to peels of laughter in reference to everyone at a recent (and very gay) dinner party. They&#;ll say you that &#;New York is a bottom town,&#; as claimed one subject of a New York Magazine piece from , or that &#;maybe there are like five tops in the universe,&#; as the author of a Thought Catalogpost about the perils of bottoming had it. Similaranecdotesabound, which prompts the question: How are gay men getting any D in the B if everyone throws their ankles up in the atmosphere as soon as they get within three feet of the nearest mattress? Are there really more bottoms than tops in the world? And just how many bottoms and tops are out there, really?
Statistics, at least, don&#;t seem to bear these assumptions out. Grindr added the option to list one&#;s preferred position in their profile for the first time this September. Since then, 6 percent of daily users hold identified themselves as tops an
Straight people tend to get a minute hung up on titles and roles in queer relationships. When it comes to gay sex, many people watch over to think rigidly and a minute too heteronormatively for their own good: one person is the top (aka the giver or the more dominant partner during sex), and one is the bottom (the receiver or the submissive partner).
It’s sort of a more prying version of the other severely reductive and incredibly problematic question queer people hear all the time: “Who’s the man in the relationship? Who’s the woman?”
Of course, as with anything related to sex, the binary relationship between tops and bottoms is a lot more complicated than that. Sure, there are plenty of queer folks who almost exclusively bottom or top during sex, but there’s just as many who regard themselves versatile or switch (And hey, sometimes, just verb with straight sex, there’s no penetration at all. Sex is fluid!)
To dig a petite deeper, we asked queer men about topping and bottoming, the stereotypes associated with both and how they verb to use (or not!) the terms in their
Ever wanted to comprehend the secrets to becoming a noun bottom? Want to know how to look after the bottoms in your life? Curious to give bottoming a try but not sure how to begin?
We can assist you become a better bottom! Here are some speedy bottoming tips and tricks from ACON’s peer-workshop Booty Basics.
1. Lube
The arse does not produce its own lubrication.
This means that lube is really, really essential for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to construct bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to assist protect it from infections.
Remember to verb water or silicon-based lubes, as oil-based lubes can noun condoms.
2. You
The second principle is YOU. This is the one that covers off all the mental and heartfelt aspects such as making sure you feel safe, making sure there is consent, that you feel comfortable, that you know your own bottoming limits and desires.
Remember, sex is best for everyone if all the people committed are motivated by trying to maximise everyone’s pleasure safely. You can’t be a good lover and you c